Editorial Report 12a

I took two recordings of the same part of my script before and after its revision. The clips are linked below, along with my comments about how they changed through my editions.

Rough
Final

1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

I thought I was a little repetitive in my word choice in my rough draft. Although I still don't think I am finished, I like my vocab choices more in my second version. I feel like they're more sophisticated but still comprehensible. The rest of the content really remained the same. I am comfortable with the layout of my script, which is where I did most of my editing. So, both of these recorded versions are, more or less, edited drafts, when you consider my real rough draft is in print.

2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?

I'm working on making myself seem more professional, and so I tried to bring down the pitch and over-enthusiastic energy in my second time around. I still want to be energetic and keep my audience awake, especially for these scenes where the only thing present is my voice (over a picture or short silent clip) but that was the major formatting change I made.