1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
I got some comments about the fact that I am spending too much time explaining and not enough time arguing for my side, so I have revised my first paragraph to be more concise. I still had to give background so that my audience can understand what on earth I'm arguing for, and the way I am presenting it now feels a lot more factual and short.
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
I morphed the transition paragraph into the first paragraph so I could really cut down on how much time I wasn't spending on arguing, because that really the point of the project.
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